New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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