Can i not drive my cunt home
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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