remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
