come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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