Will you blow on my dice?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
