I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
