weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
