I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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