it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
