Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
