i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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