Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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