i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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