idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
