He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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