He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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