everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
