there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
