I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
