You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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