NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
