I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
