it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
