my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize