He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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