wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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