it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
