I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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