I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
