There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
