The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
