even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
