Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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