We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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