he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
