If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
