I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
