we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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