i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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