Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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