new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize