so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
