honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My balls are so social today.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
