elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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