I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You're like the curious george of whores
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
