fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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