You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
