It's like a parade of train wrecks.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
