Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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