just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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