Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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