it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
