i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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