He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
