Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
