Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
