I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
