im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the day after is always just damage control
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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