Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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