Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
