Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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