you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
