Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
MIDGETS
????
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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