their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
