I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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