i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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