i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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