I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
